So I did not write anything in here for two month or so. There are only two reasons when I don’t write my growth chart. Either I am avoiding to face my inner conflict or I am writing somewhere else.
So, this time it was because I was writing somewhere else. It was very long one not like me but it was just full of me with full of different personality. We will see what it will bring me next year. I still signs almost weekly. It used to creep me out but not anymore. I feel strange when I don’t see them.
So now, my project is about to end. I know I am such a passionate person. I have never met someone who has more fire than I do. I wish I could meet the kind of person one day. But until then, I’ll just have dialogs with myself.
I read my old blogs to see how I was thinking about this new adventure. I didn’t know at the time. I did not know how crazy this year is going to be. I did not know what I am about to plunge in! I am patient seeker with movement, which means I am always on the move and looks like I am impatient.
I think I can love someone again. It was one of the reasons why I picked the plot. I wanted to wake me up. I did not want to feel dead the part of me anymore. I did not want to feel empty anymore.
I think I can love someone again and it is even better I can love both selfishly and selflessly.
I am sorry it took me so long to be ready but I am ready now. I know you have been waiting patiently. It took me 146 pages to find who you are. I am sorry if i made you feel unimportant. But I did in two weeks! I was not rush but I tried to be fast for you. So forgive me. I have rest of my life to make up for you. It's just love comes back when you are ready.